What is the Magnet Dating Method?
The more clients I work with as a dating photographer the more I hear about a clear desire for an alternative to the typical ‘swipe and hope’ dating method.
Multiple one word replies from someone or receiving single emoji responses usually means one of two things, they are breadcrumbing you or they have many conversations going at once, none of these are great for you.
The Magnet Dating Method is all about shifting the power dynamic, and we do this by trying to filter our selections down to only the ones who actually seem interested.
I’ll also say straight away this method will involve less swiping and a bit more patience.
Let me know your thoughts below!
So what’s the goal of the Magnet Method?
The idea was born from the many dating photography clients that I work with everyday, many of which have bad stories to tell.
This method hopefully leaves you with some ideas on bringing the odds in your favour if you’re simply struggling with keeping the attention focused on you.
It's an experiment, and it's a self serving one, and if you are getting unnoticed on dating apps then you owe no apologies.
Who is this alternative dating method for?
This is for anyone who feels like the traditional swiping method just isn't working for them.
People who want to filter all the way down to only the potentials that are genuinely interested
Groups who feel the dating apps in their area are drowning them out (dating apps can be up to 90% male dominated)
People who hate putting themselves out there or have a huge problem facing rejection
People that have tried dating for a long time and feel they are getting nowhere
Mini To-Do-List before you start
Many tend to stick with the big 3 apps, Tinder, Bumble & Hinge but this is a mistake, it's daunting to think of venturing further out there but we are going to be nitpicking and filtering out a lot more of the trash, so we’ll need to cast our net a little wider.
No blank text bios
You have to write something, also an AI written profile is not the answer here, if you are truly stuck on what to write in your profile just make sure you have what I call the ‘3 Ps’ - your pastimes, your passions and your personality perks.
Upgrade your pics
Pro photos are a game changer. Get a dating profile photoshoot so you’ll have a massive collection of pristine natural photos that showcase your personality and show off your best bits. Check out the pricing page - mention the word ‘MAGNET’ to get 10% off.
The Magnet Dating Method
Let's get started. Follow these steps;
Step 1. Avoid swiping with the main swipe deck
Bear with me, we will still do some swiping but this method will mean that you won’t be using the main swiping deck at all.
We’ll go over where you will be swiping later but for now, no more swiping, no sending roses, no more Superlikes and no more sticking your neck out.
Step 2. Overuse proprietary boosts
Before you hand over any money, you’re only ever shown to around 50% of your potential dating pool. To be seen by more people, you’ll have to use something often called Boosts (though different apps may have their own names for it).
Dating apps tend to limit your visibility unless you pay, so make sure to:
Use Boosts or Spotlight features during peak times (usually evenings or weekends) for maximum exposure.
Stack multiple Boosts across different apps in one sitting to monitor performance in a more accurate way.
Take note of when you receive the most matches, this will help you time future boosts for better results.
Boosts can be expensive, so use them strategically rather than wasting them when fewer people are online.
The goal here is to find the potentials that have made their own conscious decision to swipe right on you, not because you popped up in their ‘see who liked you list’ or because you sent them a Superlike, but because they looked at your profile, and liked what they saw (very important)
Step 3. Pay to reveal your likes
In some cases you’ll have to pay to see those that have liked you, in some cases they will be free. Either way we need to see them. Fresh from the lab, these serve as our first set of test results, these are your early rewards for your new pictures and new profile strategy. Hinge can be utilised to great effect here since they do show you your likes for free, just one at a time.
Now is when you get to sort through and swipe right on the ones you like. Still use your best judgement when it comes to spotting time wasters. Someone who asks you out within the first one or two messages is likely more interested in simply getting out of the house than starting something worthwhile, be overly cautious.
Step 4: Matched? great 👍, no talking first
I know, I know, it feels like arrogance to match with someone and not say hello. But hear me out.
Most chats immediately take on the typical dating app chat dynamic: one person leads (with straight couples stats say it's more likely to be the male), the other passively responds.
The leader, when running out of new ways to carry the conversation will inadvertently push things to get more engagement, sometimes resulting in getting ghosted for their efforts. This often leads to low effort conversations.
Try this: say nothing first and wait.
Why? Because the people who are actually interested will make an effort. They’ll message first or at least go the extra mile when you do eventually start talking. This filters out:
Those who only matched out of boredom.
People who expect to be chased and put in minimal effort.
Low engagement matches who reply with one word answers or emojis.
Step 5. Don’t tolerate conversation killers
These suck. Feels like they’re stringing you along with a word here and there so that you’ll stay interested and keep talking to them with no intention of ever taking things any further, your time is precious.
A solution is to gently acknowledge it. Here are some ideas on how to handle one word replies without coming across as pushy;
“I think you're running out of ink… either that or i’m talking too much? :)”
“Not much of a talker eh? Or am I just blathering on too much?”
If you have a zinger that seems to get great results share it with all of us below!
Step 6. Don't ask them out too quickly
This one is hard. It’s so tempting to ask for a date as soon as the conversation is going great, but this may be the one step that actually filters down the majority of those bad dates.
You are selfishly trying to pin down the ones who are really looking to date, so slow down, if you can, let them do the asking, preserve some cool, maybe they will appreciate that you can converse for a little longer.
Bonus Tips
Video calls are not such a bad idea
A 3D view of someone can change everything, often in a good way. Ask for a 10 minute call before you meet.
Use more apps than you want to
You’re turning the tables and asking people to come to you so you’re going to have put yourself out there a little more than you want to, don’t overthink it, it's temporary and we’re experimenting, so it's okay to go a little nuts.
Tried it out? Share your thoughts with me on this!
I think the #magnetdatingmethod can bring a little more balance to what can sometimes feel like an almost completely one sided playing field.
Agree? Disagree? Got your own recipe for success? Let me know with a comment/like/share below.
Happy dating!