3 Self-help books on love (that don't patronise you)

Relationship books

We know that finding the best books on dating and relationships can be a rather impersonal affair.

Truth be told, I can't stand the downward talking proposition of most self-help ‘find love’ books, and my attention is typically reserved for the ones that tailor advice to my own specific needs.

For this article, in an effort to brush off the monotony of self help guides proposing “zero to hero in ten easy steps 👍” We decided to spend a month asking our dating photography clients which books they recommended on finding love.

We’ve highlighted the ones that have not only a stellar record and amazing reviews but also offer a foundation on how to position yourself mentally BEFORE you go looking for love.

What criteria did we use?

We got lots of recommendations, so we filtered them down to hone in on the best of the best. These books have all the traits we consider to be especially poignant in the find love category such as:

  • Androgyny - None of the 3 books we found are focused on just helping one sex and then blaming the other sex. Both genders are considered

  • Established authors - All with good reputations for producing quality

  • Evergreen - The advice applies to the world of modern dating

If you’re a bookworm yourself consider subscribing to our newsletter which keeps you informed as we regularly dissect and discuss the latest book finds.


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Book 1. Closer to Love

Who wrote it

Closer to Love was written by Vex King.

What has the author done?

Mind-coach, content creator and best selling author of Good Vibes, Good Life, Vex King has a proven track record for success.

Who is this book for?

This is an interesting one because it goes beyond just looking for romantic relationships. It’s going to apply for many different connections and engagements in your life.

With such a broad approach, it’s easy to see this book helping many people who want to understand what exactly the ‘right’ relationship is, allowing them to make long lasting connections.


Book 2. How to Find Love

Who wrote it?
How to find love was written by Alain De Botton, The School of Life

What else has the author done?

Besides creating the best self help videos on the internet they’ve also published many great relationship books like Stay or Leave

Who is this book for?

This might fare best with people who are constantly attracted to the wrong types or who are not even sure which types will suit them best.

You’ll be given a glimpse of how certain experiences in your life have shaped your partner selections and desires and given tools on how to take control of this selection process for the future. A great read.

Book 3. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Who wrote it?
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus was written by John Gray.

What has this author done?
Currently the best selling relationships author of all time, this accomplished writer has a wide body of work spanning over 20 books.

Who is this book for?
People looking for partners, partners looking to stay partners, partners who are looking to separate, but haven’t yet quite worked out why, and just about everything in between.

A classic staple in the world of relationships. Yes, everyone seems to know of this book but are we all aware of how poignant it still remains today?

Best relationship books for singles

Turns out the best of the best are typically the books with the least convoluted approach. We hope you find some of the same value we did.

It can’t be understated how valuable it is to have a clear and concise approach to how to attain many of the connections we want and these books do quite a good job of defining things.

As well as our dating app reviews, these book reviews will regularly seek out the titles worth reading. Whether your dating journey has just begun on Bumble or Hinge or perhaps you have been out there for a while and are thinking of quitting all together - the book ideas we found will hopefully deserve a spot on your shelf.

The next step

If you’re gearing up to enter the dating scene don’t forget to take advantage of the pro photographers we have on hand to make sure you’re looking fantastic in your dating app snaps.

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