5 Essential Tips When Starting Online Dating

If you’re just getting started in the spurious and unpredictable world of online dating things can, for a while, feel a little daunting. 

But the rising popularity of mainstream dating apps has lifted it out of the realms of darkened taboo and made it much more approachable and accessible to even the most sceptical of us. 

When you are making new connections in any form it's important to be mindful of some of the dangers that seem to trip people up right at the start. 

And it’s especially useful to have some of the more positive tips to hand before diving in.

Online dating tips for newbies

Here’s a quick summary of useful pointers for when your dating journey is just beginning. 

1. You don’t NEED to share too much personal stuff

The monotony of mundane opening questions can feel like a grind… What do you do? Where are you from? :) you know the rest. 

But this is one of those cases where the fundamentals are essential, and you should be willing to hand them over, if not in early conversation then at least before a meet up. These are things that a potential partner deserves to know about.

Besides this, things don’t have to get too personal. Over time you’ll want to share more about yourself but there is no rush.

2. Know the app you’re using

There are some staples you should stick to once you’ve downloaded a new app or registered to a new site:

Always fiddle with your settings - if your search isn’t personalised you will be thrown across the country and matched with anyone with a pulse. Be callous and trim down your preferences to within an inch.

Understand the user base - this one is obvious, you probably won’t find your sweetheart on a hook up site. If you’ve picked a niche platform you’ll need to be game with what’s on offer.

Stay up to date - Even the biggest dating apps can change over time, targeting bigger and wider markets and welcoming in new groups of people. Stay with the communities and trends you want to target and be aware if the crowd is moving away from what you want.

3. Bad pictures are a negative for both sides

Shy about showing your face? Want to hide the bits you don’t like? Pictures that don’t really represent you properly are damaging to the trust that people are trying to glean in you initially. 

Renowned Dating Coach Rachel New shares with us some insight on some of the many nuances to consider when thinking about the photos you want to show in your profile:

“You communicate so much through your photos: your values, your personality, your identities, your social class and level of education, and your passions. 

Each picture is telling a story. Take some time to work out what it is you want to communicate.

Think about what kind of person you want to attract and what is important to them. Then spend some time working out what they would be looking for in your photos. 

If you have friends who are similar to the kind of person you want, ask them what they look for. 

Then decide what photos you want to have taken. Remember, when we don’t know much about someone, we overweight each piece of information we get. We also have a bias to the negative. 

This means little “clues” in our photos – such as a messy table or a creased collar – are given huge significance. So check your photos very carefully for any misleading clues!”

4. State what you want from the start

Many apps and websites have added functionality to make it clear what you are looking for but for extra clarity you can also telegraph this in your own way.

If you are looking for something short term or you are not quite ready to commit to something big, or if you are simply looking for friendship - slip this into conversation early on. We all fall onto a spectrum of needs and desires so nobody will fully understand the many complexities of you until you share it.

5. Don’t ignore red flags

Dreamy good looks and a smooth silver tongue can blind you to bad traits. This is one of the easiest ways to get tripped up early on. 

Set your standards before chatting and if someone falls far short, I'm afraid it’s on to the next.

Reality check

You won’t ever master the complex and unattainable skill of flawless dating, rather you will get used to the many problems and difficulties and insecurities that keep arising and you will adapt to them.

You might date for a year before meeting someone you really really connect with and that's just the hard fact. So keep your expectations in check.

Action plan

To ease you into things a great first step is to arm yourself with the best resources. That could be a dating coach like Rachel New who can offer personalised advice and get you focused on what matters to you most - then create actionable plans to help you find it.

Also our photography service here at Klick Me can offer an extra boost in confidence if those selfies are just not putting you in a good enough light. Take a look at our latest packages to see what fits you best.

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