3 Subtle ways you're screwing up dates

Tinder, Bumble and many of the other dating apps have never been known for easing you in gently.

There are times when we are completely off our game and all the reasons for a bad date are painfully obvious. Other times an unsuccessful date can happen out of things a little more subtle.

Video dates are great for getting that first overview and establishing chemistry but its really the first live meeting that serves as the real fork in the road.

Here is where you decide if this will continue or not. And even the smallest missteps can create stumbling blocks.

These are just a couple of things that can bring down your flow.

You were late

Apologetic, but you were still late. You’re not going to lose as many points as a job interview here but this still sends a message.

And if they decided to be a little bit early themselves then you’ll really be starting things on the back foot. Your travel plan should be full proof.

You tried too hard

This is the trickiest one. If this date means the world to you then your body is going to join in, racing heart, perspiration, butterflies, tingling spine and your words ever so beautifully turn into jelly.

Nerves can come out in many forms. Sometimes you’ll talk more than you should just to negate the terrible thought of silence between you.

The solution can be a cheeky pre-emptive glass of wine for some people, or prepping some casual conversation saving questions for others.

Your pictures left out that one thing

Not quite as tall as you suggested? Thought you’d hold off on telling them that you’re a fruitarian? Surprising someone with an unexpected trait or detail usually spells trouble, not because of the trait, simply because it was held back.

Wrap up

None of these are ever reasons to be discouraged. It takes time to get used to dating in general.

This was an invitation to meditate on things that might solve the mystery and let you know why a date might not have gone as well as you’d hoped. 

Simply staying mindful of the little things will arm us for these situations. That way if they ever happen we are typically ready to dust ourselves off, re-up and try again.

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